Husband jokingly says to his wife: “You are divorced!”

Question: If a husband jokingly says to his wife: “Your are divorced!”, is she (thereby) divorced?

Response: Whoever jokingly divorces, then his divorce is applicable so long as he intended a divorce. And if he was joking with his wife and said to her: “You are divorced!”, then, by that, she is divorced.

Indeed joking around in issues of divorce, nikaah and freeing a slave is a serious matter.

So whoever undertakes the contract of nikaah and (then) says: “I was (only) joking”, then this statement of his is not acceptable, because he undertook the contract (of nikaah) out of his own will, and (thereby) the marriage is confirmed.

And likewise, whoever jokingly divorces, then his divorce is applicable so long as he intended a divorce. And if he was joking with his wife and said to her: “You are divorced!”, then, by that, she is divorced.

Therefore, we are of the opinion that it is upon a person to beware of these issues and not to play around with divorce.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen

‘Ishratun-Nisaa wa Hill al-Khilaafaat az-Zowjiyyah – Page 201

Fataawa Noorun ‘alad-Darb – Vol. 2, Page 117

Marriage comes first

Question: A common custom among the people nowadays is for a woman or her father to refuse a man’s proposal so that she may finish high school, college or some specific amount of studying. What is the ruling concerning that? What is your advice for those who fall into the trap? Sometimes, the woman reaches the age of thirty or more and she has yet to get married!

Response: My advice to all young men and young women is to get married quickly if the means to it are made possible by you. This is because the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) has said:

((O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him)). This was recorded by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) also said:

((If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, them will be tribulations in the land and great evil)). This was recorded by at-Tirmidhee with a hasan chain.

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) also said:

((Marry the child-bearing, loving woman for I shall outnumber the peoples by you on the Day of Resurrection)). This was recorded by Ahmad and graded Saheeh by ibn Hibban.

Therefore, there are many benefits to marriage which the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) alluded to, including lowering the gaze, protecting the private parts, increasing the numbers of the Muslim Nation and being saved from great evil and misfortune.

May Allaah grant to all what is best for their religion and worldly lives. He is All-Hearing, Close.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz

Fataawa al-Mar.ah

Be cautious of death, for there is no escaping it

It is narrated from ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib (radhiallahu `anhu) that he said in his Khutbah
(sermon):

‘O slaves of Allah! Be cautious of death; be cautious of death, for there is no escaping it. If you stand up to it, it will take you and if you flee from it then it will only catch up with you.

Death is tied to your forelocks so seek salvation, seek salvation. Indeed there is behind you an ardent seeker and that is the grave. Surely, the grave is either a garden from the gardens of  Paradise or a ditch from the ditches of Hell. It speaks everyday saying ‘I am the home of darkness, I am the home of loneliness, I am the home of the worms.’ Indeed after that will be a Day more severe than that day, a Day in which a child will become grey-haired and an adult
will be in a drunken state:

“… and you shall see mankind as in a drunken state, yet they will not be drunk, but severe
will be the Torment of Allah.” [al-Hajj: 2]

Seek out your heart

Ibn Qayyim (ra) said:

“When the slave wakes up as the night encloses him and his only concern is Allah and how to please and obey Him, then Allah takes it upon Him to fulfill all his needs and remove from him all that causes him anxiety. Allah also makes his heart free to love Him only, his tongue free to remember Him only, and his body free to serve Him only.

However, when a slave of Allah wakes up and the night encloses him and his main concern is the world, Allah will make him bear the burdens of its anxiety, grief and hardship. Allah will entrust him to his own self and He will make his heart busy, sealing it from His love since it will be preoccupied in the love of creation. Allah will keep his tongue from His remembrance because it will be engaged with His creation: his body will be kept from obedience since it will be enslaved by its desires and services. And he will toil like a beast of burden toils in the service of another. And all who turn away from the worship, obedience and love of Allah will be put into trial with the worship, service and love for creation.

Allah SWT says:

“And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) from the remembrance of the Most Gracious (Allah) (i.e this Quran and worship of Allah), We appoint for him Shaytaan to be a Qarin (an intimate companion) to him” (43:36)

Ibn Qayyim continues to say, ”Seek out your heart in three situations first, when you are listening to the Quraan, when you are part of a gathering of remembrance and third, when you are alone and away from the world and its distractions. If you cannot find your heart in these situations, then ask Allah to bestow upon you a heart, for indeed you are bereft of one.”

You will not believe until you love one another

“Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion. By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves.”

[Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

Actions are by intention

It is narrated on the authority of Amirul Mu’minin, Abu Hafs ‘Umar bin al-Khattab, radiyallahu ‘anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, say:

“Actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose migration (hijrah) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger;

but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated.”

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Revenge is not sweet



Imam Ibn al-Qayyim r.h says:

“The scene of peace and coolness of heart is a very honourable for the person who recognizes it and tastes it’s sweetness. This entails his heart and his inner feelings not bothering about the harm that he has experienced,

Furthermore, his heart should not bother about avenging this harm and satisfying his soul Rather, his heart should be empty and devoid of all this. He should realize that the peace and coolness of his heart and it being devoid of all this is more beneficial for him, more delightful, more wholesome and more advantageous.”

“This is because if the heart occupies itself in any sort of revenge, it would miss all that is more important and better for it. In so doing, the person will be deceived. An intelligent and discerning person will not be pleased with that. He will consider all this to be the engagements of a foolish person. How can there be any comparison between peace of the heart and it being filled with deception and evil whisperings? And being fully engrossed with exacting revenge?”

As for the scene of peace and tranquility — if a person abstains from replying to the harm and exacting revenge, he will save himself from all that is worse than this, if he exacts revenge, he will certainly experience fear.

This because revenge sows enmity. And an intelligent person never feels safe from his enemy even if he is an insignificant one. Many an insignificant person has brought about the fall of his major enemy.

So if a person forgives, if he does not exact any revenge, if he does not reply to the harm, he will save himself from the birth of enmity or the increase of enmity. His pardon, his forbearance and his overlooking will certainly break the power of his enemy and repulse his fear — contrary to what exacting revenge will do. Experience also bears testimony to all this.”

Ibn al-Qayyirn, Madãrij as-Salikin, Vol2 p320

Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah



Some beautiful words from Ibn Qayyim rahimahullaah:

“The Heart, in its journey to Allah (swt) is like that of a bird:
Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the
head and two wings are sound the bird flies gracefully; if the
head is severed, the bird dies; if the bird loses one of its wings, it
then becomes a target for every hunter or predator.”

 ---

“Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah.

And in it there is a sadness that can not
be removed except with the
knowing Allah and being true to Him.

And in it there is an emptiness that can not be
filled except with love for Him and by
turning to Him and always remembering Him.

And if a person were given all of the world and
what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness.”

Remind yourself of Paradise

If you are hungry in this world, if you are sad, ill or oppressed, remember the eternal bliss of Paradise. If you do this, then your losses are really profits and the hardships you face are really gifts. The most wise of people are those that work for the Hereafter, because it is better and everlasting. And the most foolish of mankind are those that see this world as their eternal abode – in it reside all of their hopes. You will find such people to be the most grief-stricken of all when faced with calamity. They will be the most affected by worldly loss simply because they see nothing beyond the insignificant lives that they lead. They see and think only of this impermanent life. They wish for nothing to spoil them in their state of felicity. Were they to remove the veil of ignorance from their eyes, they would commune with themselves about the eternal abode – its bliss, pleasures, and castles. They would listen attentively when they are informed through the Qur’an and the Sunnah about its description. Indeed, that is the abode that deserves our attention and merits our striving and our toiling, so that we may achieve the best of it.

Have we reflected at length about the description of the inhabitants of Paradise? Illness does not befall them, grief does not come near them, they die not, they remain young, and their attire remains both perfect and clean, they are in a beautiful home. In Paradise is found that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human mind has imagined. The rider travels under a tree in Paradise for one hundred years and yet he does not reach its end. The length of a tent in Paradise is sixty miles. Its rivers are constant, its castles lofty, and its fruits close-by, easily picked.

“Therein will be a running spring. Therein will be thrones raised high, and cups set at hand, and cushions set in rows, and rich carpets [all] spread out.” Surah Al-Ghashiyah – Ayah’s 12-16.

The happiness of Paradise will be absolute. So why do we not contemplate this?
If that will be our final destination then the hardships of this world are less heavy than they may seem., so let the hearts of the afflicted find solace.

O’ you who live in poverty, or are afflicted with calamity, work righteous deeds so that you shall live in Allah’s Paradise, welcomed with the words:

“Peace he upon you, because you persevered in patience. Excellent indeed is the final home!” Surah Ar-Ra’d – Ayah 24.

Taken From – “Don’t Be Sad” by Shaykh Aaidh Al-Qarni.